Advice: How many kitties

Dear Meankitty,

In your omnipotent feline wisdom, I am hoping you can help me solve a mystery. I am just a simple pink kitty slave who used to be owned by one meankitty named Elvis. Pretty soon I was owned by three meankitties. Now I am owned by five meankitties, and I think they are planning to move another one in next month.

What exactly are these cats doing to me while I sleep that makes me continue to enslave myself to more and more of them? When will this end? Will this end? Are kitties highly skilled at slave hypnotism?

Signed,
Pinkie

***

Dear Pinkie,

They’ll top out at 5 or 6. They won’t want to share their food, their catboxes, and their petting time that much unless you live on a farm or something.

As for admitting what the cats do when you’re sleeping, my vow as a member of SOHC prevents me from revealing that information.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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